2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
