speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize