The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
