all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
