What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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