By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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