I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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