He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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