You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize