I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I am available for nakedness
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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