I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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