Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize