Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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