I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
