Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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