Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
