Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize