That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
