my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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