After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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