I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
