when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
