what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
