i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
