i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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