yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
