your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
