I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
