The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize