I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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