Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
