Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
