So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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