he wants to bone in the snuggie
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
