ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
