So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
