Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
