I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
