Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
