Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
