WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
God, I missed his penis.
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