I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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