I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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