There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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