I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
