I'm gonna have a badass scar
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
