...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
