oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
