last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
