so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
