We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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