He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
