I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
