So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
