Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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