Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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