they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
