My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
two words...techno handjob
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
