Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
