Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
