so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
