Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
