She's JV to your varsity
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
