Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize