ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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