she is the kim kardashian of front butts
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
