"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
