so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
