This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
