I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
