Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
