his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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